Wednesday, January 28, 2009

GCF: Bachelor Food Storage Guide

Here it is, the secret chart used by bachelors worldwide, because they don't have wives who can recognize on sight (and sometimes before) when the Big Mac has become one with the special sauce.
ICE CREAM - If you can't tell the difference between your ice cubes and your ice cream, it's time to throw BOTH out.
FROZEN FOODS - Frozen foods that have become an integral part of the defrosting problem in your freezer compartment will probably be spoiled (or wrecked anyway) by the time you pry them out with a kitchen knife.
EGGS - When something starts pecking its way out of the shell, the egg is probably past its prime.
DAIRY PRODUCTS - Milk is spoiled when it starts to look like yogurt. Yogurt is spoiled when it starts to look like cottage cheese. Cottage cheese is spoiled when it starts to look like regular cheese. Regular cheese is nothing but spoiled milk anyway -- if you can dig down and still find something non-green, bon appetite!.
MEAT - If opening the refrigerator door causes stray animals from a three-block radius to congregate outside your house, toss the meat.
LETTUCE - Bibb lettuce is spoiled when you can't get it off the bottom of the vegetable crisper without Comet and a brillo pad. Romaine lettuce is spoiled when it turns liquid. Endive never spoils, but you will never eat it anyway.
MAYONNAISE: If it makes you violently ill after you eat it, the mayonnaise is spoiled. Permanently.
CARROTS - A carrot you can tie into a clove hitch in is no longer fresh.
CHIP DIP - If you can take it out of its container and bounce it on the floor, it has gone bad.
UNMARKED ITEMS: You know it is well beyond prime when you're tempted to discard the Tupperware along with the food. Generally speaking, Tupperware containers should not burp when you open them. If the original can you put it away in has finally lost it's label, it's probably done.
EMPTY CONTAINERS: Putting empty containers back into the refrigerator is a fine old trick, but it only works if you live with someone else.
CANNED GOODS - Any canned goods that have become the size or shape of a softball should be disposed of ... Very carefully.
WINE - Should not be confused with salad dressing.
POTATOES - Fresh potatoes do not have roots, branches, or dense, leafy undergrowth.
THE GAG TEST - Anything that makes you gag is spoiled (except for leftovers from what you cooked for yourself last night).
GENERAL RULE OF THUMB: - Most food cannot be kept longer than the average life span of a hamster. Keep a hamster in your refrigerator to gauge this.
BREAD: Sesame seeds and Poppy seeds are the only officially acceptable "spots" that should be seen on the surface of any loaf of bread. Fuzzy and hairy looking white or green growth areas are good indications that your bread has turned into a pharmaceutical laboratory experiment. You may wish to discard it at this time, depending on your interest in pharmaceuticals.

CEREAL: It is generally a good rule of thumb that cereal should be discarded when it is two years or longer beyond the expiration date, or when it will no longer fall out of the box by itself.
FLOUR: Flour is spoiled when it wiggles, or things fly out when you open it.
PRETZELS: Normally eternal, pretzels may be discarded if they can no longer be picked up without falling apart. Otherwise, there's nothing to stop you from eating a pretzel that the Pharaoh put down only 4000 years ago.
RAISINS: Raisins should not usually be harder than your teeth.
SALT: It never spoils. However, if you can't chip off reasonable amounts from the block, maybe another box is in order, as fresh salt usually pours.
SPICES: Most spices cannot die, they just fade away. They will be fine on your shelf, forever. Put them in your will.
VINEGAR: If your grandmother made it, it is probably still good.
EXPIRATION DATES: This is not a marketing ploy to encourage you to throw away perfectly good food so that you'll spend more on groceries. Even dry foods older than you are may be ready to replace. Perhaps you'd benefit by having a calendar in your kitchen.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Graffitti in Bathrooms

Today after class I went to the Barnes and Noble across the street, I got a drink from the cafe and used their restroom. When I closed the door behind me, I noticed there was graffiti on the door. While I don't really understand WHY some ppl feel possessed to write on the door, I thought it was amusing and took some pictures, I will now put them up for your viewing pleasure.
This one is my favorite:

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

My Apologies....Yet Again

Today was the Presidential Inauguration....Barack Obama is now the President of the United States. Ok, I know I usually don't go into anything having to do with politics on my blog (for good reason, I have no wish to get into any political deabtes) but this is a historic day and should be noted....ok, it's been noted, that's all I have to say on it.
Anyways, I started my classes, I love all of them so far, which is a good way to start the semester. A bad way to start the semester however is getting a parking citation for not having a decal at one of my colleges. I'm taking 4 classes this semester: Personality and Social Development, Human Development, American History (with the same teacher that let me skip a final last semester) and Intro to Religion, which I haven't started yet and don't start till the 27th.
CJ came back from NY for a week, I hung out with her a total of twice in the time she was home. But at least I spent SOME time with her. She was enchanted with the pup (of course) though he kept on making spirited attempts to eat her clothes. (Which he does to me on a daily basis, he seems to think my skirt is very tasty)
Hmmm, what brother is going back-packing with his best friend for two days, he's leaving on Sunday. And then on the 28th he's leaving to Chicago for a week to visit his rebbe, who just moved up there. Can't think of any other news now, but we'll see how the week goes.

Friday, January 02, 2009

Happy New Year...albeight a day late....

OK, yes, I know, sould have done a new years post, but never got around to it. Did absolutely nada on New Years Eve, just was bored. On New Years, I spent the day putting together a schedule for next semester....which starts on Monday...and i don't even know all of the classes I'm taking yet. Talk about very last minute! Anyways, finally got the pics on my comp, so here are a few from Disney. Enjoy!!!