Thursday, October 22, 2020


 It's been almost a year since I first heard about this strange virus that was popping up all around a little place called Wuhan, China. In fact, the first that I heard of it was on reddit, and what I remember reading was that there was a doctor that China wanted to shut up that was trying to get out a warning about this virus. 

I'm a bit ashamed to admit it, but one of the first thoughts that crossed my mind was that I was glad that it was far away on the other side of the world. I had forgotten how small the world has become, and that just because it was far away from me, didn't mean it couldn't come here. The next time I heard about it was in January I think. We started to hear of a couple of cases, here and there in the country, and yet still, it didn't seem that close to home. It won't come here. I had somehow forgotten I live in one of the biggest tourist hot spots in the country. Of course it would come, it was only a matter of time. 

Come mid-March; shutdown. Life seemed to grind to almost a standstill. Though of course life never truly stands still, certainly not for long. In those 3 months I potty trained my 3, almost 4 year old, we moved to an apartment, and I had baby #5. 

Now, almost 7 months after shutdown began, I wear a mask to go out, feel guilty if I forget it, and try to not take my health for granted. I pray everyday to keep my family and friends safe from this plague and try not to live in fear, and live the life I am granted every day. What more can we ask for? You are never more aware of how precious life is, than when you know it can be snatched from you in a moment. 

Monday, October 19, 2020


 We all have them, right? We might not remember them, but supposedly everyone has REM sleep. REM stands for Rapid Eye Movement. That is the stage of sleeping when dreaming happens. I tend to have very vivid, memorable dreams. That's been the case since I was a kid. I even used to keep a dream journal, but I don't really remember enough of my dreams to record them anymore. It's not that my dreams have gotten less vivid, it's more that everyday life tends to chase away the fog of sleep and the dreams that came with it. My 2 year old comes into my room almost every morning. "Mommy, eat!" she demands, tugging at my hand. In the face of that, who would remember such a fleeting thing as a dream? I kind of miss the times when I was able to recall my dreams at leisure. I know I had a good one the other night, that told a whole story. What was it about? No idea, since it flew away once my little one started making her demands. Fortunately, there is always another night, and maybe, another dream. Maybe the next one will stick and I'll get a chance to write it down. That would be nice. Good night, and may all your dreams, be happy ones.

Monday, October 12, 2020

Going to sleep

My kids don't sleep. I mean they do, at some point. But there are definitely nights where I believe they will never fall asleep. All of my daughters share a room, so every night is like a sleepover. Which I simultaneously love and hate. I love it, because it's exactly what I wanted when I was a kid, but never had since I only had one brother. I hate it, because then I'm constantly hearing my daughters talking to each other, which means they are not asleep. Which means they will not be going to sleep anytime soon while one of them is talking and possibly keeping the others up. On the other hand, my son, who does not have anyone to share a room with and should therefore be able to theoretically go to sleep at a normal time, does not. He is his own keeping himself up, making up stories to himself, playing with toys in bed, even just lying in bed and staring at the ceiling. He is a night owl. To be frank though, they all come by their night owl personality honestly. Both my husband and I are and have always been night owls. Guess I'll just learn to live with it. 

Wednesday, September 30, 2020


 Playgrounds are not something that is usually at the forefront of your mind. Most of the time, you can just drive or walk past one and not think anything of it. But lately...

Playgrounds around here have been closed for the last 6 months. I miss them. My kids miss them. I never realized how necessary playgrounds were, until we no longer could use them. Now, every-time I drive past a playground, I gaze at it with sadness, wondering when we'll be able to use a playground again. Sure, there are playgrounds open a couple of counties north of us, but I shouldn't have to drive 45 minutes away just for my kids to get to play on a playground for an hour or so. I did it, just to get them out of the house and to a place where they could run around and just be kids, but I was so drained coming back, I'm not so sure it was worth it. All I ask, is please, please, please re-open the playgrounds. For our kids sanity. For our own sanity.

Sunday, January 05, 2020

Today was one of those days. Two of the kids stayed in PJs all day, didn't bother to change them into new ones before bed. We didn't even leave the house. But, I got several loads of laundry done, even getting the older 2 to help sort and put away their own clothes. We cleaned up the absolute chaos of a room that is my daughters' room. So all in all, I feel pretty accomplished for the day. And guess what wrapping up the day with writing a blog post for the first time in over a year! Yep, a pretty good day for me indeed.

Sunday, November 11, 2018

A Morning of Mourning

It was a busy Friday morning, I was piling all the kids in the car, and keeping an eye out to see if I could spot both of the kittens that had taken up residence in our yard over the past few days. I saw Oreo, the brave little black and white kitten almost right away. She was busy playing on the path, doing kitten things. Glancing around, I noticed the form of the black kitten, lying in the bushes. I crept up to the kitten, hoping to get a little glimpse in before the kitten jumped up and ran and hid, as she usually did. Unexpectedly however, she just looked at me and let out a little hiss, but didn't make a move to get up. Staring at her for a moment, I reached my hand out to her, ready to grab it back if she took a swipe or jumped up and ran, but aside from another hiss and a plaintive meow, there was no reaction. I cautiously scooped her up, to more hissing and meowing, and tried to bring her to the water bowl, thinking she was too dehydrated, but she would not drink. I felt alarmed and determined. We had already lost one cat because I hadn't tried to save her, I wasn't going to have it on my conscience again if there was something that could be done.
 I called my husband, and told him what I had found, and that if it was possible, I would try to help the kitten. He sighed and gave me his blessing, but warned me we couldn't spend more than $100. I agreed and went to the first place that might help, the Humane Society. I got there and asked a volunteer where I could get the kitten looked at, she told me to bring the kitten to the clinic. After getting all the children out of the car, we were told that the clinic does not treat sick animals, it was only a preventative clinic. Getting everyone (and the kitten) back into the car, I sat a and pondered my next step. I decided to take the kitten to the vet at Petsmart, and see what they would say. We drove over there, and all got out from the car again, and grabbed a cart for the baby and the kitten. After inquiring about their services, they said they were also primarily preventative care, but agreed to see the kitten in any case. 
After a lot of waiting, and a quick examination, the vet informed me that they couldn't tell what was wrong with the kitten, but would have to order blood tests and other things. I asked how much it would hit me in the packet, and it turned out to be close to $200. By this time, I had called my husband again, and he pointed out it would not be feasible to take care of the kitten inside due to our son's allergies. I sadly agreed and had to tell the vet we would not be proceeding with testing. My oldest daughter (5) started throwing a fit that she wanted to bring the kitten home and take care of it. I had the joyless task of trying to explain to her that that would not be feasible and not be happening. She was not happy to hear it.
So off we all went, again, back to the Humane Society to drop off the kitten. I went inside myself, thinking it would be a quick affair. It turned I was right, but not for the reason I thought. Apparently, this Humane Society would not take sick animals, but handed me a paper of two places that would. The first was all the way in Dural, about a 40 minute drive away, and not near any kosher stores. I hadn't yet even started my food shopping for shabbos, never mind preparing! The second location looked more promising as it was closer, although it was in another county and relatively close to a kosher food store. After driving another 25 minutes, I finally arrived. I closed my eyes and the looked down at the soft fur of the black kitten that had been quietly lying in my lap as I drove all over the place. I had to believe this was the best thing for her. I had done everything in my power. I gathered up my strength, told my kids to tell the kitten goodbye, and went to give her away. Unfortunately for me, since we lived in a different county than where this shelter was, they said they would not be able to accept the kitten. 
At this, though I had been holding myself together for the sake of my children, I burst into tears. (My children were in the car and not in direct line of view)I explained through my sobs that I had been driving all over that morning, and there was no possible way I would be able to take this kitten all the way to Doral, and also still buy food and get ready for our shabbos. If they could not take the kitten, I would be forced to leave it to die next to my porch since I could not bring it in because of my sons's allergies. I soon gathered an audience of about 4 workers, watching me as a I bawled out my sad story, and then they told me they would work something out. I was so glad, I was able to get a hold of my emotions and try to start calming myself down. While I waited for them to figure out a way to bring in my kitten, another woman came and sat next to me. She had rescued a kitten who was wandering around an intersection, and was dropping it off at the shelter. She struck up a conversation, asking about the little limp bundle in my lap. I picked up the kitten and showed her, the kitten meowed in protest. Looking at the kittens flickering eyes, the woman said it looked like the kitten had brain damage,and was unlikely to recover. In an odd way, that comforted me. I had done everything in my power to help the kitten, and now I could give it up to those to either help it, or more likely help ease it's passing. But the choice was no longer mine alone. After saying my goodbyes to the kitten, when they finally came out and said they were ready to accept her, I walked back to my car deep in thought. I was relieved to be free of the burden, and yet saddened that I could not have done more. 

Wednesday, August 01, 2018

The Saga of My Washer and Dryer Part 2

We left off, my landlady promised I would get my washer come hell or high water,and she delivered. Or rather the washer was finally delivered. It was ordered 3x, but the first two times did not take. Then, once they finally took the order, they tried to deliver it on a Saturday, at 11 am. Do you know where we are on Saturday at 11am? Here's a clue: NOT home. So, we needed to have it rescheduled. It finally arrived on Wednesday, got all installed in blah blah blah. Finally! Let's put up our first load of laundry, right? Get this sucker going. I start the machine, and walk away. Next thing I know I'm hearing Glug, glurg, splash and there is water all over the floor. The water is pouring out of the pipe behind the machine like a fountain, only the fountain is currently in my living room. Great. Peachy. What could have gone wrong? Maybe we put too much clothes in, after all, this was our first time doing laundry in weeks and there are a lot of clothes. So I put much less in the next load. Unfortunately for my floor and walls this did zip, we still ended up with glurg glug splash and washer vomit all over the floor. Fantastic. Called up my landlady and informed her of what was going on, and she sent over her handyman son. He looks around, hems and haws, and it turns out that since this washer is so much bigger than the last one, the whole in the ground is not big enough, so it's all backing up the pipe when the washer was trying to drain. Cue about a day or so of digging, and we have a hole halfway to China in our yard, but hey, at least the washer won't back up again. Cover up the hole so no children are in danger of falling in and we are ready to roll! Thus, the Saga of the Washer is over, the Dryer was a whole 'nother story.
To Be Continued....