She sat alone in the dark room, motionless, as the tears dripped down her cheeks and off her chin. She occasionally sniffled, staring off into the shadowed corners of the room. She wondered why she was crying, why she felt so miserable. She recalled that earlier that evening she had beeen her carefree, easy, cheerful self - in the space of a few short minutes, all of that changed. She now sat alone, as miserable as could be, wishing she had the courage to stand up and face what she had to. But she couldn't, she just stared into the dark with large tear-filled eyes, not yet willing to put aside her fear and tears. Finally, she uncurled from her position, and went in search of paper. After tearing out a sheet of paper from an old school notebook, she wrote down the events that had taken place a half hour ago. Perhaps that would ease her pain and she could get on without the burden - perhaps it would help her to understand why she cried. In the course of writing, her tears dried up and her nose unclogged. The mere act of getting the words down on paper had a soothing effect. No longer were they inside, unspoken. They were now on a page, visible to anyone who cared to look. Even if locked away, they were free. She looked up, wiped the last tears from her eyes, and decided to go out the door. She would not let anything hold her back any longer.

30 Pound Challenge

On May 4, my mother offered me a challenge, lose thirty lbs. by September, and she would take me to NY for a whole new wardrobe. I accepted. This past week, I met and surpassed the thirty pound weight-loss goal. I'm still losing, but don't worry, I'm not anorexic or anything like that, I figure when I plateau, I'll know I've reached my ideal weight. I'm sure you're wondering, "How'd she do it? Weight loss pills? A special diet? No, I made my own "diet" I just cut down on how much I was consuming, and I do an insane amount of exercie. Two and a half hours at the gym, 1500 crunches a day... it's hard work, but incredibly worth the effort. My mother, as well as other people say I should write a journal on how I did it, but a lot of it was not so much working on the weight as it was working on myself, resolving issues I hadn't even realized I had. I found out stuff about myself that surprised me, but that I worked on and then put behind me. After that, the weight loss was easy. I had been hiding behind my weight, eating for comfort, but now that I had confronted myself, I knew I could do it. It's been a long hard road, but totally worth it. This is for my mother, who pushed me and never gave up, and for my therapist and friend who helped me look inside myself. Thank you, without you, I would not be the person I am today.